The honey badger

I'm all over the Honey Badger, like the Honey Badger is all over honey. This is a badger that makes our black and white 'regular' badger look and seem as dangerous and vicious as a thumbless stoned 16yr old from Norfolk with a bag of Doritos's watching a Jim Carey boxset.

The 'regular' badger is infamous for being kinda nasty, elusive of British eyes and rarely seen during daylight without it being in peice's on the side of the road. I actually had to pleasure of coming pretty close to a 'regular' badger a few weeks back. I got within about 4ft of the animal, and when it didn't run away and it started to stare at me i wasn't sure whether to turn around and avoid the mild inconvenience of being attacked by a fucking badger or shout and run at it. Luckily it took one look at my menace and sharp teeth and knew it wasn't in safe hands and vacated my presence into in the wheat.

But, the honey badger, now that's a badger you don't fuck with. Often referred to as 'the killer badger'. The honey badger does not have any real predators in the wild and therefore it does this thing where its a bit of a twat, a bit arrogant and shows no fear, kind of like a West Ham fan. They can chew through bone and muscle like a hot knife through butter, one bit David Attenborough once, it bit him right in the gooch. Apart from ageing British broadcasters perineum's it also really really likes honey, like Winnie the pooh, but not quite as shit.

Just like a shorty fatty African Doberman.