Saturday night i sit patiently waiting for Goldeneye to come on TV. I'm not going out due to the fact Ive been far too frivolous with my pounds so i need to stay in and catch a good bond film with strong communism overtones with many references to the cold war in order to save some of those pounds, while i wait i stumble upon ITV which i try to avoid like the black death and i discover a show called Hell's Kitchen, some sort of celeb-reality cooking experiment from ITV. Fairly quickly if not from the fact its broadcast on ITV to start with, i can tell how bad it is, Ive seen this Marco Pierre White 'character' on my tube before selling some chicken stock shit implying its the best thing to happen to cooking since himself. I already think he's an arrogant prick from that. Even quicker i discover how much more of a cock noose* he really is. Not to mention the ridiculous scarf he is wearing around his head, as is his celebrity inmates. He really does resemble an ageing and somewhat unhygienic date rapist who wouldn't think twice about stealing your jewelery afters he's roped, and raped you. The only saving grace of the show was Ade Edmundson naming his dessert Ade's bloody mess, not sure if he's aware he made a HIV joke but hey its 9:30 on Saturday night on ITV, its normally packed with HIV, racist and paedophilia wit is int it...?
He talks down to his celebrity inmates with statements that sound like they come out of the mouth of a 18yr old philosophy student who's just finished reading his first Nietzsche book while wearing a beret and wearing a Che t shirt.. 'A cricket bat with no roots is just a tree'. No, a cricket bat with no roots is a broken cricket bat cause Ive spent the past 45 mins beating you round your smug face with it. I also saw the cunt lick a kitchen knife, i was fucking 4 when my mum taught me not to do that, this old twat is still doing it. Avoid at all costs, for your cooking show fix stick with Channel 4, Dave Lamb and come dine with me
He talks down to his celebrity inmates with statements that sound like they come out of the mouth of a 18yr old philosophy student who's just finished reading his first Nietzsche book while wearing a beret and wearing a Che t shirt.. 'A cricket bat with no roots is just a tree'. No, a cricket bat with no roots is a broken cricket bat cause Ive spent the past 45 mins beating you round your smug face with it. I also saw the cunt lick a kitchen knife, i was fucking 4 when my mum taught me not to do that, this old twat is still doing it. Avoid at all costs, for your cooking show fix stick with Channel 4, Dave Lamb and come dine with me
* A cock noose is a masturbation technique for men that involves tying a shoe lace around your cock and then tugging from afar.
1 comment:
Hard hitting stuff. I think I read the exact same article in the Guardian.
This is quite different from your toys on cats oeuvre.
Ok so seeing as I reviewed all your stuff, take a look at my website. It's very similar to this celeb hate vomit.
Post a Comment